When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.