Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?

The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.