Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!