Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.

Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?