You haven't lived until you've died in California

Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

I found people looked better when they laughed

Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.

The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!