A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.