A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.

That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.

Obama is running again for spite.

Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?