There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

If you can't join them, beat them.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?

New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.