There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

I found people looked better when they laughed

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.

You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.