Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.