I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?

I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?

We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.