Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.