Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.
The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.
Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.
For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.
Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.
Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.