We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?
You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun; The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to; Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one, But Englishmen detest a siesta.
I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.
Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.