Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.