Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

A lady is known by the product she endorses.

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.