To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.