To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.