Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

How Sunday into Monday melts!