I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up.

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.