How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.