I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.

You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.