Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.