Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.