I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.