Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.