Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.