I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.