A cough is something that you yourself cant help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.