I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.

One thing about the past. It's likely to last.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.