All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.