The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.