Women would rather be right than reasonable.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

How Sunday into Monday melts!

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.