The old men know when an old man dies.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.

The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.