There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.