There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.

Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.