Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.