Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more