Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.