Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.
Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.