There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I am no more humble than my talents require.