Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.