Oscar Levant Quotes

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.

Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

George, if you had to do it all over, would you fall in love with yourself again?

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

So little time and so little to do.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.