I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

I am no more humble than my talents require.