A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.