A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.