Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.
A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.