An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.