When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.