It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.
It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.
There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.