What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.