In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.