When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
I never watch the Dinah Shore show- I'm a diabetic.
When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.