I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.