There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.
I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.