Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.

Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.