Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.