Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.