You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.