You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.

So little time and so little to do.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.