I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.