Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.
It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.